P ... is for the Past
To live in the present moment is a goal well worth striving for. To direct our attention to the present moment is to give our energy to the here and now so we can live successful lives in the present. To the degree our thoughts are in the past, is the degree to which our energy is unavailable for our use now.
We tend to churn up memories of the past, more so it seems when the memories are painful and unpleasant. We hurt ourselves every time we call them to mind and relive them. Why do we insist on hurting ourselves, battering ourselves with old pain and disappointment, when there's a better, happier existence, there for the taking?
When devastating incidents occur in our lives, of course they will cause us pain, and of course our pain should be recognized. However, dredging up the pain and keep it fresh in our minds is self destructive. We must take a look at what happens to us when we do this, and consider how we can heal and put those events behind us.
One result of dredging up old pain is we keep ourselves in the victim state. We give away our power to the old pain. It's easy to spot the victim mentality, it simply shines out of a person's being. We fail ourselves when we maintain a victim state to explain our imperfections and avoid responsibility for who we are today. We maintain ourselves as the helpless child who needs to be taken care of, which brings about two major repercussions: Our emotional immaturity drives people away, which adds more fuel to our victim mentality!
Every time we bring up the same painful incident for the purpose of displaying it to ourselves and others, our attachment to the pain it caused grows that much stronger. The more we perceive ourselves to be in emotional pain, the less personal power we feel we have, which tears away more of our self esteem.
The good news is that the event that so devastated us is now over. The only thing that keeps it fresh and enables it to cause us pain is our attachment to it, and that is what we can change! Rather than focusing solely on the negative event, we can discern what we learned from the situation. All painful situations and seeming obstacles are opportunities for growth. We can be thankful for opportunities that taught us more about ourselves and others - we can reap the wisdom we've earned from those experiences and apply what we've learned to enrich our lives and the lives of those around us. We might recall the kindness of those who helped us through that hard time. We might realize that if a particular relationship had not ended, we wouldn't have room for the relationship that we currently enjoy. We might see that if we had not lost that job, we would not have been pushed into exploring new career paths.
Being thankful for opportunities for growth and focusing on the positive outcomes of negative situations are two ways we can loosen the grip of painful experiences in the past. As we process, forgive, and transmute our negative emotions, we cultivate our ability to experience inner harmony and joy. Step by step, we become more of who we really are - fully empowered human beings!